God, AIDS, Africa & HOPE

Reflections / Gedanken

10/05/2009 • 11:14 pm Comments Off on 05.10.2009 office too close to my home…

05.10.2009 office too close to my home…

Monday morning, and instead driving to town in the morning, I just have to open a door and I am in my new office.. It is tempting to do this before being ready for the outside world.. and I guess it needs quite some discipline not to jump with a cup of coffee just into it, from the bed to the desk so to speak.

I will try to keep it separate – office work is office work and home is home. I prefer the distance between both, but that might come in due course of the next months.
I had to prepare for a workshop of Catholic AIDS network this morning, I was asked to give an overview about new care and treatment options and new developments in research. So I will speak about the Berlin patient, about the Thailand vaccine trial and other remarkable stories and new developments on the medication sector. The chairperson of HOPE Cape Town will also be there and report on the situation in South Africa, which looks much more dark than people want to believe. We have massive problems in delivering services and bringing people on treatment.
I also had a meeting at Tygerberg with the Dean of the Sport Sciences Faculty from Munich and some management members – ways of cooperation were discussed and we learned about the sport sciences in Germany and they about HOPE Cape Town in South Africa. In the evening then the celebration of the German National Day – a good one this year with lots of people I haven’t seen in ages and a good speech of the Consul General Mr. Bussmann. So quite a day, in between SA Telkom and the post office .. a full day.

I just realised this evening that my diary is full till I leave for Germany – it is amazing how little time the 8 days have.. I wish, I could extend that timeframe to get all done, what is still waiting to be worked on and finalised. Well, some night sleep has to be sacrificed to get it all done.

Filed under: HOPE Cape Town Association & Trust, Reflection, Uncategorized, , , , , , ,

10/04/2009 • 10:47 pm Comments Off on 04.10.2009 Big plans and little plans..

04.10.2009 Big plans and little plans..

It was a good day, a marvellous service, brief speeches and I am at the end of the day very happy and grateful for this final accord in a life’s chapter.  Two friends who happened to be actors wrote me a message, saying that they are in thoughts and prayers with me, and then they added:  “Wenn Gott Grosses mit uns vorhat, dann muessen wir das Kleinere eben lassen” – translated it would mean: if God has big plans with us, we have to leave our little ones..  I am not sure why, but this sentence, which they took from Hildegard of Bingen, a saint of the Middle Age, accompanied me through the whole day and comforted me a great deal. As did the “Halleluja” from Haendel during the service, sung by a choir and accompanied by an orchestra. Music is an amazing tool, it can lift up the hearts in a way which leaves me very often speechless.

This evening I can say that I know amazing people,  I have amazing friends and I am blessed with so many good people around me. I am blessed in so many ways that I hope I can give back of all these blessings in the years to come. To feel blessed, to count his/her blessings and to be a blessing for others – what more can describe the way a Christian life should go? But not only a Christian life, I think everybody has the right and the duty to cherish his/her blessings and to be one for others. Enough now of blessings.. 🙂

After this day, I am prepared now for the new page in my life…

Filed under: General, Reflection, Uncategorized, , , , ,

10/04/2009 • 8:36 am Comments Off on 04.10.2009 Farewell Sunday..

04.10.2009 Farewell Sunday..

It is Sunday morning and in a couple of hours the farewell will take place. A 12,5 year long chapter of my life will come to a formal end. The move of my office on Friday already signaled the radical change in my life. And my thoughts wander a bit around, first to those, who wanted me out of office and will today look satisfied and content, because they removed what was in their eyes a constant tread to the church and the German Bishops Conference. I am sure Mr. P. will be satisfied of his victory. His strategy of coercion and harassment hs worked in that sense.

But I feel in the moment rather far distanced from those people who changed surely my path of life. But I strongly believe that it will all come to a good end. And I am delighted to read all the mementos from sympathetic  people reaching me via email, amongst them one from Hans Kueng, whom I admire a lot. That is indeed balsam for my soul.

Filed under: General, Reflection, Uncategorized, , , , ,

10/01/2009 • 10:46 pm Comments Off on 01.09.2009 First day without my community

01.09.2009 First day without my community

The day started like all the days before with early being in my office @ the Mediterranean Villa. And it ends now with having packed all my stuff which will be transported to my new interim office at home.  But it was amazing for me how many people send email or phoned to say that they think of me having my first day in the new job description. I just hope that the description now gets clearer by the day. A lot of preparation has to be done now for my trip to Germany and  Italy in two weeks time – and on Tuesday is already the Catholic AIDS Network workshop for priests and religious where I should inform people about the newest developments in treatment and care. So the weekend will not only see my official farewell mass at Nazareth House but also some preparation work for the workshop.

There are so many ideas and visions in my head now, but first I have to settle down with my office and get it in working condition again. And to get used that my office is only some meters away from where I am living.

My new role with HOPE Cape Town is also starting to become clearer, this was a rather painful process but necessary. After having myself detached from the daily business and only participated via the management team, it has now newly to be defined. It is indeed like a sort of new beginning or should I better say: It is like knowing somebody very well and suddenly discovering a completely different site of him or her, watching from a totally different angle. I am sure it will become a somehow newly exciting journey.

But otherwise: a new chapter in my life starts rather uneventful. Good so.

Filed under: HOPE Cape Town Association & Trust, Reflection, Uncategorized, , , , , , ,

09/30/2009 • 10:26 pm Comments Off on 30.09.2009 Alles wird gut…

30.09.2009 Alles wird gut…

… everything will go alright, somebody wrote me a day ago and I believe that: That at the end all is falling in place. But I also know that when you think all is falling in place, your world will be first thorn apart before you can put it together. Transition is such a moment – you plan and you imagine and you envisage and you have joy to see yourself somewhere new – and you suddenly realise that there is still a lot to do before you get even close to your wish or what you saw as your destiny.  Transition is also an emotional rollercoaster and the people around you tend to try to influence the outcome. Why? Because many people think they know what is good for you, or what path you have to go or they are anxious that you will lose track if you not do this or that.

HIV and AIDS as portfolio is a big task ahead and tonight, short before midnight, I am not sure anymore where it will lead me. There are so many possibilities how one can go about it, so many ways to tackle it. There are so many needs which cry out for assistance and help.

Well, I will certainly stay with HOPE Cape Town, even if I am not sure in which capacity. But I will also develop and foster the project of POZ, dealing with the pastoral work with priests and religious living with the virus. The partnership with Joachim Franz and his team “be your own hero e.V.” will definitely play a bigger role in my life and the exhibition 2010 @ the Charite might be another pillar. The partnership between Bavaria and the Western Cape needs also some input – and I can see all this interconnected and to be mutual beneficial. But I am not sure whether this vision is shared by everybody.

It always needs courage to grasp a vision and to slowly but surely make it a reality. But I also know that I cannot do it alone. Standing on the doorstep of a new chapter of my life, I am thrilled to know whether I find people being able to walk side by side with me.

Being in transition also means that the interaction between people changes. In our world, the status of a person, the role he or she is playing is an important one. People value people because they are in a certain position, people connect with people out of that purpose. Sometimes this leads to a good friendship which lasts forever, but often, connections are lost because positions are lost. The interconnection between people is a very interesting field of studies.

Tonight, I feel the uncertainty of tomorrow and the days to follow. Transition takes away the self-assurance and makes one vulnerable. But I still believe: …. all will go alright..

Filed under: Reflection, Uncategorized, , , ,

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