It was after a four-week trip to Europe: I was sitting and eating my decent dinner at a restaurant. Next to it a construction side where on that Saturday afternoon work was in full progress and it was loud and noisy. And suddenly it happened:
the realization that I was indeed back at the right place: Cape Town and South Africa. It seems that this moment condensed somehow all my feelings for this country. While others check their passports and planing for their kids a career outside South Africa, while crime and madness are running high before the big ANC conference, while strikes turning more and more violent – even while I consider the glass only half full in the moment for South Africa myself I knew it deep in my heart: Here is my place to be for the rest of my life. Amazing the certainty of feeling – the feeling of belonging – the sensation that I have found my destiny.
Maybe I knew it all along after almost 16 years, but now I can point a finger to a moment in time where it became an almost emotional certainty.
I am aware I will almost speak, write and think with an accent in my English and I will always stand there being astonished about the turns of life as it only can happen in Africa. I am aware I can never catch up with the enthusiasm of cricket, rugby and all the sports, I can never be a real South African – but in my heart, South Africa has formed a melody I cannot resist.
I have always felt that my life has a meaning and I am sure that this cornerstone of realization also means something in my life and will transform my life further. Whatever happens, I will always be grateful for this moment in time..
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Filed under: General, Reflection, Society and living environment, Uncategorized, Africa, belonging, capetown, feeling, heart, longing, south africa, Stefan
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