God, AIDS, Africa & HOPE

Reflections / Gedanken

07/09/2013 • 6:41 am Comments Off on The world in which we live..

The world in which we live..

NBC Nightly News broadcast

NBC Nightly News broadcast (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am not sure that is common experience but I was always interested in putting my work and my immediate surroundings into the context of what happens around the world. And sometimes I feel overwhelmed from all the bad news coming via different news channels. But they touch me somehow and influence me in a way I am not sure I can define in a proper way.
Looking around me there is the big scandal of espionage – who ever thought Facebook is not safe now knows that there seems to be all stops pulled to gain access to all emails and chats. I never thought, that internet is safe, but knowing that there is a systematic approach to bend the law and obviously dismiss the freedom and privacy of ordinary citizens under the pretext of security brings this knowledge to a new level and is depressing.
Yesterday the pope visited the tiny Italian island of Lampedusa and urged help for desperate migrants who risk their lives getting there – I am impressed and a bit proud that humanity and a joyful approach to our faith is visible in our leadership. And it feels good that there is a sense of openness again within our church; there is a sense of being allowed to speak out freely and without fear – what a blessing.
Syria – how often have I experienced the hospitality of Syrian people and Egypt where a colleague of mine is stationed – the travesty of politics in both cases shows how little respect our political systems have when it comes to the Arabic spring and it’s people concerned.
From Europe there comes the news that two more people seems to have lost their infection after a bone-marrow transplant, these are some good news from overseas. Here in South Africa we watch with horror the ugly Mandela soap opera – where the fight about the inheritance already has begun before the great statement has even closed his eyes.

We cannot escape the world we live in, and I sometimes wonder, what kind of influence this world has in all the needy township communities, where also news and soap operas impact on the minds and hearts of people. How does it affect the people seeing the madness of the big world and of course of their small world – the glitter of high society life mirrored in South African but also US soap operas but also the obvious corruption of their politicians, the wealth of the few who made it out of poverty and now play big shots in politics and society without being too much concerned about the well-being of their fellow citizens.

Working as a priest and working with people living with the HI virus means working in a micro – environment. It is work on the very personal level of society. But I cannot help but continue to wonder how much the bigger scenario interacts with this very personal level and how the overwhelming flood of information through all kinds of media makes life and touching each others lives more difficult and challenging.

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Filed under: HIV and AIDS, Politics and Society, Reflection, Religion and Ethics, Society and living environment, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

10/09/2012 • 5:52 pm Comments Off on Death is always an unwelcome guest

Death is always an unwelcome guest

In the early years of the HIV pandemic death was a constant companion of those infected and affected. And the real scandal was that young people were dying, those life still in front of them. In our days death has been put on the backseat and an average person being on anti-retroviral treatment has a good chance to live a life  as long as anybody else. But I guess this does not exempt us from thinking about our relationship with brother death and how we once want to be found by him. Life the life to the fullest every day, I was once again reminded to this old saying and advice receiving note of a friend’s wife being killed in a car accident. Still the smiling, gracious and loving person in the afternoon and all gone within hours after a horrible accident. Shocking and one tries to find words to comfort the man having lost his love of his life – almost impossible. Death has shortcut a relationship which was due to last decades longer and no words, nothing can really prepare for such a moment.
Several hours after receiving the shocking news I had to phone a previous chair-lady of my Parish council when I was still working in Germany. She was death sick, refused further treatment and here I spoke with someone who indicated that she knows every bit of being a dying person, not knowing how much suffering more will come before the kiss of death will relieve her from pain and all the worries coming with it. A family stretched to the limits to accommodate the last days of the mom, mother in law, grandmother and whatever role she took else on in her life. Once again, death seemed to come inconvenient, even when he knocked on the door in advance to make his presence felt.

So how do we want to die – announced or as a surprise to all? Silent in bed or a dramatic farewell in life? How do we prepare for this moment? Maybe in helping each other to live life to the fullest much more than we do in the moment. Living in the presence, not already thinking of the future and what we might be able to do, to say… Maybe in having less regrets and more happiness, fewer fights and more joy? Maybe in reconciling in the eve to make sure there will be no bitter feeling if one is on the way out that very night?

And maybe in understanding that we live on borrowed time, that we don’t own our life or that of our family, our children, our friends, but are invited to take part for a while before they or we move on to higher service. Whatever comes when we close our eyes may come as a surprise to many of us – I am curious to know, but I hope I still have lots of time before knowing it for sure. Life is so precious, let’s take time to live life and not to be lived by a life we think others expect from us.

Filed under: General, HIV and AIDS, Reflection, Religion and Ethics, Society and living environment, Uncategorized, , , , , , ,

12/07/2010 • 11:56 pm Comments Off on 07.12.2010 Reflection while writing Christmas cards…

07.12.2010 Reflection while writing Christmas cards…

The year’s rest time is running fast – and while giving another interview for a Berlin newspaper on the pope’s condom comments and sexual moral of the church, I also begin to process all the contacts and results of my journey. Emails must be written, contacts kept and promises fulfilled. At the same time I write my “compliments of the season” via email – electronic means sort of mass communication, but on the other hand: I could never write to so many people by hand. And while adding the email addresses, faces and persons and encounters are coming to my mind, so everybody I sent the wishes a memento is done and the person mindful considered for a while. And it is amazing to see the wave of emails back – and obviously then the standard wishes become real communication, ones catches up, exchanges ideas, hear of the lives of people and what keeps them going. In this sense, the electronic compliment of the season card is more of a possibility to get in touch again after a busy year and not to lose track of those, whose ways crossed my way in one or the other way….

It also brings to mind how blessed I am, with all the people I know, with my friends in Cape Town, Johannesburg, Bangkok, close to London, Wolfsburg and all over Germany, South Africa and other countries of this world – friends who take me as I am, share my thoughts, allow my needs and weaknesses and just letting us creating the space needed to be the person one is and as one wants to be acknowledged and accepted. Sometimes I think I have the best of it all – so diverse is my circle of friends, so open-minded, so friendly, so accommodating…

Yes, I am blessed and in my heart, it is the time of the year where I thank each and everybody of them for just being who they are. I wish sometimes I could bring them all together in one place, but I guess that would create a sort of chaos interesting to observe; worlds would come together and the whole diversity of my personality would be visible in one go. I am sure, we all have that kind of idea once in a while – which at the end entails the wish to be  acknowledged and loved as the “whole person” one is, with all facets. I wrote at another time about the observation, that we – most times – only reveal parts of us to certain people, being shy about other aspects of life, or fear rejection, or feel it would be a disadvantage, or maybe even not care for the moment. We playing roles, being only part of who we are. Maybe it is part of being a human being. Sometimes one is struggling to bring oneself in all the diversity of his/her own life under one umbrella.

Be it as it is – thanks to all those who are playing such an important part in my life – what would I be without you? I am sure in your hearts you feel the importance of this powerful connection – without making much words…

 

Filed under: Reflection, Society and living environment, Uncategorized, ,

10/26/2010 • 1:28 pm Comments Off on 26.10.2010 Motorway A48 or who am I?

26.10.2010 Motorway A48 or who am I?

Tuesday morning on the A 48 – it is foggy in the Rhine valley and driving along the A 48 direction Trier it is a ride which reminds me on the life journey: Valleys full of mist and no view alternate with higher points of blue sky and sun – crispy looking colourful  leaves on the trees signaling the change of seasons. It reminds me our journey of life, where dark, misty valleys take turns with sunny chapters full of laughter and joy; coming and going with sometimes a surprising speed and completely unexpected after the next bend.

And while contemplating this change of views I ask myself: With all the turns in life, who am I? Always when I travel, I have to fill so many different roles: Whenever I am coming  home, I am automatically “child” again, son of my parents, brother to my sister. Meeting people while giving talks or workshops, I am an aids activist, or a priest on the left side of church spectrum, a fighter in the fields of HIV and AIDS for some, a fallen priest later rotting in hell for the right wing spectrum of Catholicism. I am a typical German for many South Africans – and a much too adopted South African for many Germans.
Who am I? What role of all these mentioned is the real Stefan? Or am I the person I see in my realities, the person, I see when I see myself in the mirror? Would those who praise or condemn me would do so, when they could bring all the pieces together, which makes me the person I experience day for day and week for week? Where do I put all the things happening in my deepest inner, all my dreams, desires, weaknesses, hopes and sorrows?
Sometimes I am not sure; but what I am sure about is that all who judge a person are terribly wrong because they only judge parts of someone and mix this up thinking it is the whole person. I know from myself that it is a life long journey to discover one self  – so those who think they know it all about somebody else judge only themselves..

Amazing, how thoughts are floating to my mind while driving down the A 48 from Koblenz to Trier – more than enough food for thoughts to contemplate life and the person living it….

Filed under: Reflection, Uncategorized, , , , ,

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