God, AIDS, Africa & HOPE

Reflections / Gedanken

19.08.2009 After the meeting….

Meeting done with the Archbishop and it was a good meeting. But there is still a formal way to go until a final result – so patience is once again asked. Hopefully latest at the end of next week I know the result and know, how my working life will develop. Patience is not one of my best virtue, but exercising it might do me good.. 🙂

This evening community council meeting, the last one in my capacity as the chaplain if transition is going smoothly; I hope for the best, say my little prayer the eve and wait…
But I am still optimistic that we will find a solution fitting the situations and the needs of all involved in this process.

It was a tough year which then hopefully draws to an end with a good decision and some productive work ahead. But now back to relaxation for my H1N1 stressed body before leaving again for town and the meeting. We have good people constituting the community council, they are really supportive and able to help guiding the community. So I am indeed looking forward to seeing them.

At the end stands the realisation how much damage a mean person can produce sitting high up in the hierarchy and playing with people as others would play the chess game. But the bible said that God is writing on twisted lines straight. Lets hope and see…

Filed under: General, Reflection, Uncategorized, , ,

04.08.2009 7 weeks to go…

7 weeks to go as the chaplain and still no word what will follow after the 4.10.09, where I most probably will have my farewell service for the community. I am moving on Friday, so many things must be organised and I do it all with hope, but no certainty. Amazing life style.. 🙂 I guess, Abraham also felt like it walking out of his usual habits and surroundings and just kept on walking in the hope of finding a place to rest and to feel home again. But Abraham was much older when it happened, and consequently much more filled with wisdom.. :-).. So I am sure he had more patience than me.

On the other hand, there is nothing more exciting then going towards the unknown, it feels like adventure, it reminds me on the good old days of childhood, when discovering unknown territory.

So excitement and impatience are balancing each other.. lets hope it will stay like this until I know my faith…  Press the thumbs and watch the space….. 🙂

Filed under: General, Reflection, Uncategorized, , , ,

03.08.2009 positive blogging…

It is amazing to find out more and more people blogging about their positive lifestyles and it is encouraging to read about it.  Most of them are doing it anonymously and it is understandable amidst the fear of stigmatisation and the often neurotic way, people react to a positive person. Why is that so? Because amazingly I have the impression, that it is always the others, who would be vulnerable to catch the virus. I have had discussions with people having multiple unprotected sex, but they were still convinced that they carefully selected their partners and that the risk of contracting the virus was almost zero. Isn’t that amazing?
An unforgettable moment in my life was last year visiting a friend in Thailand, who obviously was quite sick when I arrived. Knowing his lifestyle I spend days to convince him to visit a clinic and to let him test himself. On a Saturday evening at 10pm I got him into Silom community clinic and pushed my way with him through the staff trying to close down. Three rapid tests confirmed my suspicion and reflecting with him on what was happening, it was amazing for me to understand that he – deep inside himself – knew, what was wrong with him, but simply refused to face the reality of a test. God knows alone how many infections could have been avoided if he would have gone earlier. But the fear of stigma, of getting sick, of being rejected prevented him for a long time to go for the test. Understandable, but it showed me again how stigma adds to more infections and to early death as one starts treatment consequently sometimes too late.

Making things worse in this case, his CD 4 count was still to high to be able to receive treatment (over 200 copies p/ml).. so he had to wait another half a year before being able to start treatment.  These are the things driving me in my work in this field. The stigma, the unnecessary suffering until being eligible for treatment in a 3rd world setting and more and more the restriction of travel for people living with the virus. We are so advanced in treatment in Europe – but we are still miles away from treating HIV as a condition which does not need to end in discrimination or stigmatization of some kind.

We have to work with those affected and infected in an intensive way to change these settings, which lead at the end to more suffering and more infections – completely unnecessary. And we have to work constantly with ourselves to understand our own perceptions, fears, prejudices to convert them into a loving understanding without judgment.

Filed under: General, HIV and AIDS, Reflection, , , , , , , , , ,

02.08.2009 Living with HIV

I have added on the blogroll “living with hiv – as it happens”. I find this blog a very important one as it shows without attitude or drama how life develops after a positive test result. The blog is anonymous and this shows again, how difficult it is to get it out. Here in South Africa, the Treatment Action Campaign advocates the “coming out” of HIV positive people and sometimes I have the impression, that is is almost done in a militant and pushy way. I don’t agree with it at all. Living with the virus is as intimate as faith – and it needs time and trust to open up and to talk about things which are so close to myself. Everybody has the right to be silent and to decide himself or herself, to whom to reveal the news.

People can react sometimes quite funny – for me as a counsellor it is important to advice a newly diagnosed person to look out for one person, with whom he can share the news and with whom he can discuss his joys and sufferings, his grievance and anxiety related to the virus occupying parts of his or her body. It is indeed a roller coaster to get used to the virus, to get used to treatment, and to be able to live a life to the fullest.

I feel often sad seeing how prejudice creates stigmatisation, discrimination – there is still a long way to go until we just accept a person living with the virus without even considering what could have gone wrong. It really does not matter in my opinion how and when somebody was infected – it is for me as a person, a Christian, a priest completely uninteresting – the only duty I have is to encourage somebody to live, to experience the unconditional love of God and to make the best out of his or her life.

Here in South Africa, we also have AIDS orphanages, and I always tend to flip out when I hear people saying, they want to see the innocent AIDS babies and clearly trying to distinguish between them and those, who have acquired the virus during adulthood. First of all there are no AIDS babies, but babies living with the virus. And secondly there is no innocence or guilt when dealing with a person living with the virus.  We should stop even using such words – and leave the morals at home somewhere in the corner where they don’t disturb our judgement and our commitment towards other people. Lets forget about judging people – and just embrace them as they are. This is the way, we also want to be dealt with … at least the way, I want to be dealt with…

Filed under: General, HIV and AIDS, HOPE Cape Town Association & Trust, Reflection, , , , , , , , , , , ,

22.07.2009 thoughts while traveling…

wat po - bangkokRemember always that you are just a visitor here, a traveler passing through. Your stay is but short and the moment of your departure unknown. None can live without toil and a craft that provides your needs is a blessing indeed. But if you toil without rest, fatigue and weariness will overtake you and you will be denied the joy that comes from labour´s end. Speak quietly and kindly and be nor forward with either opinions or advice If you talk much this will make you deaf to what others say and you should know that there are few so wise that they can not learn from others Be near when help is needed but far when praise and thanks are being offered. Take small account of might , wealth and fame, for they soon pass and are forgotten. Instead nurture love within you and strive to be a friend to all. Truly compassion is a balm for many wounds. Treasure silence when you find it and while being mindful of your duties set time aside to be alone with yourself. Cast off pretence and self-deception and see yourself as you really are. Despite all appearance no one is really evil. They are led astray by ignorance. If you ponder this truth always you will offer more light rather than blame and condemnation. You, no less than all beings, have Buddha Nature within. your essential mind is pure. Therefore when defilement causes you to stumble and fall, let not remorse nor dark fore-Bonding cast you down. Be of good cheer and with this understanding, summon strength and walk on. Faith is like a lamp and wisdom it is that makes the flame burn bright. Carry this lamp always and in good time the darkness will yield and you will abide in light.

Wisdom of Buddhism – we should always discover the wisdom and beauty of other religions – traces of God are found everywhere….

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