God, AIDS, Africa & HOPE

Reflections / Gedanken

08/01/2009 • 5:12 pm Comments Off on 01.08.2009 Home again.. :-)

01.08.2009 Home again.. :-)

Coming home again – a great experience… rain, no stairways to leave the plane, being wet until reaching the bus, waiting for the luggage – belt 1… then belt 2 – all in rush to the new belt – new announcement: belt 4 now.. chaos… stop and go on the highway – yeah… back in Cape Town. As I have to move flat next week my first way is to the new home: the house alarm does not stop after de-activation, from every corner there is the sound of a beep… waiting for the technician – well, it could be… hours later… all fixed, but unfortunately the transformator blown – so no alarm, until tomorrow..  OK… Saturday comes, technicians comes, after 2 hours it seems not so much to be the transformer, but the cables, under the pavement – so no way to repair, and anyhow, shops are closed to get new cable…  Welcome to South Africa… Phoning ADT, the security company to get relief – but my new landlord is still contracted – and she is gone – off to Australia…. Without written consent, the ADT manager explains impatiently, there is nothing ADT can do for me… well, she admits Australia is far, but that is not her problem, she has her rules…  Did I mention that I love the way, South Africans working?? 🙂

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07/30/2009 • 6:53 pm Comments Off on 31.07.2009 Why is HIV such a dangerous topic in the church?

31.07.2009 Why is HIV such a dangerous topic in the church?

While reflecting the last weeks on my way and my work with the German speaking Catholic Community and the HOPE Cape Town project, I once again asked myself, why HIV is such a contaminated topic in our RC church?

It is amazing because on the practical side, my church and the churches generally are doing marvellous work and without their engagement, much more suffering would occur. But as soon as you leave the known path of caring for the sick and the dying, a moral minefield seems to open up and at the end, one either shuts up and keeps silent or one has to face the consequences of jeopardizing ones career. It seems to me, that the topic of sexuality is still one of the most difficult topics to discuss in our church, as the church regards itself as the guardian of moral and good behaviour. And here a pandemic kills people of all ages and is connected with the most intimate part of human life: his or her sexuality.

It would be wrong to say that church has not moved in its views about certain aspects of sexuality in the last centuries, but all the developments in this field were done in slow movements. And there was always a lot of anxiety not to let go the higher moral grounds. Seeing the suffering of people every day, it sometimes is very difficult for me as a priest to reconcile the theory of moral teaching with the realities on the ground.  Sometimes I even ask myself, how one ever can bridge the gap between the two. But on the other hand: Should any teaching of the church not assist people to more life, to more happiness, to more joy, to more fulfillment?

At least what I would wish for is that we are able to discuss without fear all options and possibilities to combat this pandemic in all openness and seriousness. Without being put in one corner or the other – it seems to me, that one can only be a fanatic for or against the famous condom – but there is so much more we have to discuss and explore. A serious debate, that I wish for in the month and years to come, to find ways serving human mankind in the most beneficial and realistic way. And I am looking for a theology of HIV and AIDS, integrating the pandemic and finding ways to turn the stigma of HIV and AIDS into a charisma. Too much asked?

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07/30/2009 • 6:17 pm Comments Off on 30.07.2009 midnight local time

30.07.2009 midnight local time

Chiangi Airport in Singapore. A quiet airport at this time of the night, where I wait for my connection flight. As I have booked redeeming my miles, I only now discover that my flight from Singapore to Cape Town ends already in Johannesburg, where I have to leave the plane and to check in with SAA from Jo’burg to Cape Town.  Singapore Airlines is also continuing flying from Johannesburg to Cape Town, but that would be to easy for the Miles & More program to make travel convenient. Why occupying a seat in a half empty plane for the two hour flight when one can bring somebody to discover the delights of Johannesburg airport. I phone the Senator service, but they cannot help. No, it is not logic, they told me, but still, I have to change planes… I love this program which brings again and again the joy of convenience to their customers.

I know I repeat myself but it is still a funny feeling: Flying back home without knowing, what to expect in the next weeks to come. If somebody would have told me some time ago that I am faced with such a situation, I would have laughed him off.  8 weeks sounds like a long time, but in reality time is running like crazy. In my heart I know what my calling is, but do I achieve it or be able to follow up on it?  I remember now an old saying: the midst of the night is the beginning of a new day. Maybe that should be enough for now… let’s wait for the new dawn arriving…

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07/30/2009 • 10:18 am Comments Off on 30.07.2009 Packing…now and in general.. somehow…

30.07.2009 Packing…now and in general.. somehow…

Packing before flying home from holidays are always a nightmare. Shopping here and shopping there – and suddenly you ask yourself, how all the goodies came together in that little time…
Yes, it is time to fly back and to pick up life where it stopped – the first days are always a nightmare, all the mail and requests, waiting to be answered and worked through. It takes normally a week before normality crawls in again. Makes it seven normal working weeks until hand-over of the chaplaincy.
It is still a funny feeling to know, that my chaplains life will come to an end. After that long period it seems unimaginable not to care for this community and to be part of it. Well, it means a bitter-sweat farewell at the end. On one hand you know that nothing is eternal and every period of life comes to an end, but it is bitter when it comes in a way not expected or deserved. I am grateful for those 12, 5 years – I don’t want to miss a second.. well, maybe a couple of seconds could be missed, but generally it was such a fulfilled time.
So my packing before flying home reminds me also that the time for the big move comes soon – and it will start already next week with moving flats. My lease is coming to an end – and as I don’t want to wait under the bridge before renting again, I have to secure at least a roof over my head. Small practical things – overlooked when big decisions are at steak.

Well, let’s hope that the pilot find the way first to Singapore, then to Johannesburg and Cape Town; and that my luggage will also arrive in one piece. Going via Johannesburg means one has a reasonable chance to find less in the suitcase than packed… Cross my thumbs..

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07/29/2009 • 11:30 am Comments Off on 29.07.2009 Waiting

29.07.2009 Waiting

watpo 2Waiting to go home… waiting is an interesting state of being.. not knowing what to expect but having a lot of fantasies what we wish could and should happen in the next hours or days. We wait a lot.. for our loved ones, for our birthday, for Christmas, for the Easter bunny to bring the eggs. 🙂 and they say when you get older you are more patient while waiting. Is it true? Not sure I have found that kind of wisdom.
Waiting has also to do with becoming silent, feeling time passing slower – being aware of the minutes flowing through our life.

For me this time it is a quite existential waiting – waiting to know what exactly will happen to me and what assignment I will get in the near future. 8 weeks to go in my actual job – and still no news about how life will continue thereafter. For somebody used to plan a year ahead it is an interesting experience, but living the last weeks amongst Thai people I have seen that it is possible to live out of the moment without exactly knowing what the next day will bring.. Surely not always my life philosophy but in these times I feel it can help me to keep my life in balance….

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