God, AIDS, Africa & HOPE

Reflections / Gedanken

14.07.2009 BKK inside

I discussed with a friend of mine, who visited me in BKK his experiences being here the second time. He told me about the different view, he got during his second visit and how he understood more and more the mentality of Thai people. I agreed as i remembered how long it took for me to understand and interpret the hundreds of different smiles, not always to be mistaken for a friendly one. And I told him, that for me, Bangkok taught me one lesson: Always to look twice and never to believe my first impression. Nothing is as it looks in the beginning – and only by getting accustomed to locals, making friends and patiently trying to discover their realities and social behaviour, I got glimpses of their truth in life.
A truth, a reality, which is not always identical with mine – and so it creates the need to talk a lot, listen carefully and to compromise in a way being beneficial and tolerable for both.

For me, this lesson applies also to my faith. Even if it is my truth and gives me meaning in life, I have to explore, understand and work with the truth and reality of another person I do encounter. I have to appreciate what I learn in this way and maybe even understand, that my friend, my neigbour or whoever it is, can complement my views and add new aspects, i might never have thought about.

It makes me more rich to discover the truth of another person – and it is not relativism but complementing me as a person.

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11.07.2009 The main task of priesthood…

What is actually the main task of a priest? Prayer? Celebrating the Eucharist? Managing a parish? Running some institutions like kindergarten etc.? Being a representative of the institution “church”?

I guess as one goes along in his life as a priest, some focus points are shifting again and again. When you are a young priest, then obviously you tend to fall into activism and you feel, that you can change the church and the world for a better place. If you grower older in your profession, you realise how little you can do to save the world. And depending on the parish you are in, you are either a sort of managing director for your parish or, having several parishes, you are more in church celebrating mass, funerals and other occasions then being really with the people.

For me, after 23 years in priesthood, the answer is becoming more and more simple: My main task as a priest is to tell people that they are unconditionally loved by God. That there is nothing, no failure, no mistake, no action, which can a person seperate from God.  And to be able to tell people, there is indeed one condition for us as priests: that we have to experience this unconditional love for ourselves.  I guess here is where the struggle for many priests starts – to accept themselves as they are and with all their weaknesses and to know and to experience, that God’s unconditional love shines day and night on them. We can only hand on, what we have received ourselves..

This unconditional love to each and everybody, this statement, that nobody can fall out of the hand of God is in my opinion one of the biggest gifts we as Christians can give to the world. This is indeed the most powerful message, we have to offer.  Because this at the end makes life so precious and in need of absolute protection.

The question of course is, why also within the church our behaviour does not reflect this unconditional love. How unmerciful are we often dealing with people, falling “out of line” in our parishes, in our dioceses, within the church? How often are we not witness of our gospel but demonstrating the opposite and equalizing us in doing so with the world and its laws.

Being for so many years chaplain to an immigration chaplaincy means also to encounter many people, who have left the church out of such experience – and now, in a foreign country, suddenly get somehow in touch with me as a church representative again. It is sometimes painstaking to listen to their stories, to feel their anger, frustration and how they feel hurt in many ways.  I am sure in most instances, the priest, bishop or who ever it has been, had not intended to hurt or to be harsh, but time restrains, own frustration, the need of staying within the laws of the church and many other reasons  can be put on the table to somehow justify it. If it is justifiable in any way…

Taking the time for the person approaching us and seeing always the background of God’s love might prevent a lot of harm…

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07.07.2009 Questions…

During the last 8 years working closely with people being infected and affected, one starts thinking what all this is fitting in in our faith system. Is HIV or AIDS only to be seen as a medical condition? Or as a social or moral failure to bring people towards a proper behaviour – what ever that might mean? In the beginning of the AIDS pandemic, I heard from some church leaders that HIV and AIDS are punishment for bad behaviour.. Or is the virus simple another sign of evolution – the daily struggle of nature to survive?

Are there indeed the “poor AIDS babies” and the adults “who are somehow bearing the stigma of misbehaving”?  Are there good or bad people living with the virus?

What does it mean to our theology of creation, our picture of God? What does it mean to the moral teaching of my Roman-Catholic church? Are we able to develop a theology of AIDS and turning the stigma into a charisma?

What does work in this field do with a priest, thorn apart between dogma, teaching and real life situations. The church is mater and magister, so told me a bishop last year in Rome. “Where I am working, we represent more the magisterium, where you working, you represent more the mother” Rightly said, but what does it mean in consequence?

I don’t have answers – but I am on a journey to find out..

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