God, AIDS, Africa & HOPE

Reflections / Gedanken

Compliments of the Season

It’s never too early: I am taking this opportunity to thank everyone who made 2012 a fabulous year…
Hoping 2013 will be a blessed and best one for all of us – Somebody shout Amen!

For all those I’ve made promises to and never kept – Ek is baie jammer, it was not intentional but I will do better in 2013.

Those that I owe lunches, kisses, dates, etc. eish, I’ll do my best to fulfil.

 For those that have supported me and made me smile through all my hardships… I truly appreciate you – May God bless you!

For those I’ve disagreed with, argued with and just never got along with…… well, 2013 is another year, pasop!

Those that I’ve hurt… unintentionally/intentionally… I’ve probably apologized – “I’m Sorry” again…

For those that stuck a knife in my back… oppas, ek het ‘n gun gekry…. Nah, relax… 4giveness is the best revenge!!! 

For those that have let me down… DANKIE….’twas just another stepping stone closer to my destiny!!!    

To all my real friends … I bought us some superglue

But all in all, you have made 2012 a great year; I wish you and your loved ones prosperity, good health, wealth, happiness, greener pastures, abundant blessings…and a  Wonderful Festive Season

May 2013 be the year you achieve wonderful things and grow in maturity and wisdom..

Blessings & Peace

 Fr Stefan

Now @ sea till mid January

Now @ sea till mid January

Filed under: Catholic Church, Center of Healing, General, HIV and AIDS, HIV Prevention, HIV Treatment, HOPE Cape Town Association, HOPE Cape Town Association & Trust, HOPE Cape Town Trust, HOPE Gala Dresden, Medical and Research, Networking, Politics and Society, Reflection, Religion and Ethics, SA-German Chamber of Commerce & Industry, Society and living environment, Uncategorized, , , , , , ,

pastoral care not possible!?

Having spoken and listening to lots of people during the conference who are dealing with pastoral care for those marginalized in our society there is still a question which is haunting me quite for some time:
How can we minister to such groups like those who are gay, or are HIV positive (and not married) or transgender, or drug-addicts when the moral judgement of the faithful rather scares them away then making them feel embraced and loved?
I ask this question specially on the back ground of HIV being most prevalent in men who have sex with men.

Some would say, if they don’t have sex with each other, they wouldn’t infect themselves. Right, that is exactly the kind of answer I am making the case for…

Yes, I  know, we love the sinner and hate the sin, but that is just “a say” – how can we say we love gay people but we reject their feelings and their happiness when it comes to practical terms, when we forbid them to live out their love.
And is the AIDS pandemic consequently not just a very welcomed way to enforce such a moral judgement and infringement of basic human rights and adding  to the stigma and consequently discrimination of those “unfortunately not by God made so perfect” people?

Or how comes that in many countries, where homosexuality is a crime with severe punishment the church is rather on the side of the oppressors than of those fallen victim to such practice? And supports with it a lesser chance that the gay person receives adequate treatment and care.

Take Uganda – where the debate about AIDS and GAY and DEATH PENALTY is not quiet and still in political debate and where the church “for the protection of family and marriage values” rather condones the state orders killings (called execution) instead standing in for the dignity and human rights of every son and daughter of God in this world. Where is the sanctity of life in this case?
When we don’t uphold the sanctity of life in all aspects, we have a big problem being taken serious. There is no gamble or choosing when to advocate the holiness of life.

There is no half a dignity, there is no limited human right, there is also no mistake in the creation of mankind – God saw that it was good and if he sees it, why we are blind at times? He gave us eyes to admire his creation as well…

Pondering these thoughts I do understand why HIV/AIDS is a calling to put our thinking, our comfort zones, our theology, our way we discover God to the test – it is a like a deep calling to engage with all these minority groups who are the hardest hit by the pandemic. By engaging with them, by bringing the unconditional love to them I am sure we suddenly discover a different face  of God, another glitter in his eyes watching lovingly over each and everybody.

HIV and AIDS is not only a medical problem; it can only be overcome when we end stigma and discrimination, when we end our “Sunday sermons” and change those silent disapproval which so easily can get out of hand.

And yes, I know that we care about all these people in need in a practical sense, and we are great in it. Without the churches involvement the plight of so many marginalized people would be even more big – but we can do better in lovingly accepting that God’s creation is much bigger as what we think and  give to us as margins for our life. Only then can we be advocates for life; only then can we be truly advocates for the living God and his unconditional love. We just pass on what we have received.

Coming back to the beginning of this blog part:

We can only work pastoral with people who feel that we take them as they are, we can only work spiritual with people who feel embraced with all their life structures, with all the things making them the person they are. People who are afraid of the church, who are afraid of the “intrinsic evil” they are committing according to our teaching, are lost for our pastoral care, are practically excluded even if we try to cover up with the “evil” with smart words that we don’t mean it that way.

HIV and AIDS confronts us as Christians, as the church with our own shortcomings, prejudice and perceptions… it is up to us to let this confrontation happen in the best sense of the word to discover what we still lacking in meeting the mercy and unconditional love of God we are called to – now and here.

Filed under: General, HIV Prevention, Networking, Reflection, Society and living environment, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Young, gay, religious and the thread of HIV.. a deadly mix?

In one of the newsletters relating to HIV issues I found this email. I am touched because once again I am reminded how difficult it is for a young person from a religious background and family to be gay and when HIV is added as a concern – faith becomes a deadly threat. There is so much still to do to get it right and to bring faith to be the liberating factor, not the killing factor… The burden to carry seems for this young man, having life still in front of him, too heavy. The RC youth day in Madrid where so many young people gather now for prayers and to meet the pope – wouldn’t that not be a great opportunity to bring out this powerful message that God loves unconditional – no “but” added. Just love and acceptance.

 Young, depressed and confused – Aug 14, 2011

I am 16 year old gay teenager. My 20 year old boyfriend recently found out he may be HIV positive. The doctor told him his viral load is very low and that the virus is almost detectable in his blood and that he needs to revisit in 6 months again to do another hiv test to see if he is really positive. I am confused. We had unprotected sex before his results. I topped him but did not ejaculate inside of him. I am not circumcised and I am really worried about my chances of infection. I got a test done privately with my boyfriend by his doctor but it came back negative. It’s been eight weeks since that incident and I have noticed slight pains under my arms pits, on my legs near my groin areas and even under my chin, but the area is not swollen. I am very depressed because I was being very young and stupid.  My parents will surely kill me if they knew I have contracted this disease. There is the possibility of me being thrown out of the house because my father is a pastor. I have not been sleeping nor eating much and it’s really affecting my grades in school. I hate myself of being gay and wonder why this has happened to me. At the same time the pressure of all this is really overwhelming and I don’t want to make the wrong decision in killing myself. Nobody understands besides my boyfriend but this lifestyle is looked down upon from the church and many people in our society. Please sir, I need your advice. Thanks.

Source: http://www.thebody.com/Forums/AIDS/Mental/Q216792.html?ic=700101

Filed under: HIV and AIDS, Society and living environment, , , , , , , , , ,

07.01.11 How many more “official” clarifications…?

Corrections are always also a sign who holds the power and how institutions are structured. And it is amazing to see how often Vatican departments now have commented and somehow clarified (or corrected?) the statement of pope Benedict XVI.

Here the latest from the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith – what is of interest to me that I have not heard of any to be seriously taken commentator who mixes the protection of life with the question of “pro-creation”.  Let’s be honest: There is nothing really new in the example of the pope; moral theology came to the same conclusion a long time ago. What is new is the fact, that even ordinary Catholics or priests are now allowed to say it without being threatened by those who deal with moral teaching like dogmatic teachings. Or  accused by those, who are scared to speak their mind because then there is no further career or the position is threatened.

We as the church always stand for the unconditional love of God and the protection of life. There is  no other Christian way….

“Light of the World”.  Regarding certain readings of the text.

Following the publication of the interview-book Light of the World by Benedict XVI, a number of erroneous interpretations have emerged which have caused confusion concerning the position of the Catholic Church regarding certain questions of sexual morality. The thought of the Pope has been repeatedly manipulated for ends and interests which are entirely foreign to the meaning of his words – a meaning which is evident to anyone who reads the entire chapters in which human sexuality is treated. The intention of the Holy Father is clear: to rediscover the beauty of the divine gift of human sexuality and, in this way, to avoid the cheapening of sexuality which is common today.

Some interpretations have presented the words of the Pope as a contradiction of the traditional moral teaching of the Church. This hypothesis has been welcomed by some as a positive change and lamented by others as a cause of concern – as if his statements represented a break with the doctrine concerning contraception and with the Church’s stance in the fight against AIDS. In reality, the words of the Pope – which specifically concern a gravely disordered type of human behaviour, namely prostitution (cf. Light of the World, pp. 117-119) – do not signify a change in Catholic moral teaching or in the pastoral practice of the Church.

As is clear from an attentive reading of the pages in question, the Holy Father was talking neither about conjugal morality nor about the moral norm concerning contraception. This norm belongs to the tradition of the Church and was summarized succinctly by Pope Paul VI in paragraph 14 of his Encyclical Letter Humanae vitae, when he wrote that “also to be excluded is any action which either before, at the moment of, or after sexual intercourse, is specifically intended to prevent procreation—whether as an end or as a means.” The idea that anyone could deduce from the words of Benedict XVI that it is somehow legitimate, in certain situations, to use condoms to avoid an unwanted pregnancy is completely arbitrary and is in no way justified either by his words or in his thought. On this issue the Pope proposes instead – and also calls the pastors of the Church to propose more often and more effectively (cf. Light of the World, p. 147) – humanly and ethically acceptable ways of behaving which respect the inseparable connection between the unitive and procreative meaning of every conjugal act, through the possible use of natural family planning in view of responsible procreation.

On the pages in question, the Holy Father refers to the completely different case of prostitution, a type of behaviour which Christian morality has always considered gravely immoral (cf. Vatican II, Pastoral Constitution Gaudium et spes, n. 27; Catechism of the Catholic Church, n. 2355). The response of the entire Christian tradition – and indeed not only of the Christian tradition – to the practice of prostitution can be summed up in the words of St. Paul: “Flee from fornication” (1 Cor 6:18). The practice of prostitution should be shunned, and it is the duty of the agencies of the Church, of civil society and of the State to do all they can to liberate those involved from this practice.

In this regard, it must be noted that the situation created by the spread of AIDS in many areas of the world has made the problem of prostitution even more serious. Those who know themselves to be infected with HIV and who therefore run the risk of infecting others, apart from committing a sin against the sixth commandment are also committing a sin against the fifth commandment – because they are consciously putting the lives of others at risk through behaviour which has repercussions on public health. In this situation, the Holy Father clearly affirms that the provision of condoms does not constitute “the real or moral solution” to the problem of AIDS and also that “the sheer fixation on the condom implies a banalization of sexuality” in that it refuses to address the mistaken human behaviour which is the root cause of the spread of the virus. In this context, however, it cannot be denied that anyone who uses a condom in order to diminish the risk posed to another person is intending to reduce the evil connected with his or her immoral activity. In this sense the Holy Father points out that the use of a condom “with the intention of reducing the risk of infection, can be a first step in a movement towards a different way, a more human way, of living sexuality.” This affirmation is clearly compatible with the Holy Father’s previous statement that this is “not really the way to deal with the evil of HIV infection.”

Some commentators have interpreted the words of Benedict XVI according to the so-called  theory of the “lesser evil”. This theory is, however, susceptible to proportionalistic misinterpretation (cf. John Paul II, Encyclical Letter Veritatis splendor, n. 75-77). An action which is objectively evil, even if a lesser evil, can never be licitly willed. The Holy Father did not say – as some people have claimed – that prostitution with the use of a condom can be chosen as a lesser evil. The Church teaches that prostitution is immoral and should be shunned. However, those involved in prostitution who are HIV positive and who seek to diminish the risk of contagion by the use of a condom may be taking the first step in respecting the life of another – even if the evil of prostitution remains in all its gravity. This understanding is in full conformity with the moral theological tradition of the Church.

In conclusion, in the battle against AIDS, the Catholic faithful and the agencies of the Catholic Church should be close to those affected, should care for the sick and should encourage all people to live abstinence before and fidelity within marriage. In this regard it is also important to condemn any behaviour which cheapens sexuality because, as the Pope says, such behaviour is the reason why so many people no longer see in sexuality an expression of their love: “This is why the fight against the banalization of sexuality is also part of the struggle to ensure that sexuality is treated as a positive value and to enable it to have a positive effect on the whole of man’s being” (Light of the World, p. 119).

Filed under: HIV and AIDS, HIV Prevention, Reflection, Society and living environment, , , , , , , , , ,

11.11.2009 Suicide goalkeeper…

He was famous, still young, happily married – a star for many soccer fans and expected in South Africa for the Soccer World cup 2010 – and he ended with suicide. TV pictures showing fans laying flowers and burning candles in front of the stadium of Hannover 96, the cancellation of a National soccer match, tears and bewilderment. A rising star of the soccer heaven ending smashed by a train.

It ones again shows to me, how little we often know about people, how little we really care about what people going through. We take the life clippings we like to see and on the other side we produce for the world and the people around us the life clippings we want them to see. And sometimes, there is always a variety on such clippings, depending whom we meet. And very often, we ourselves believe that these cuttings are the real person, the real life.

He was scared of losing his child when he would come out in the open with the depression he suffered. And once again: how often do we think I cannot come out with this or that because.. because I am scared that nobody will understand, that people draw the wrong conclusions, that the reactions will hinder the blossom of life.

I also know this feeling to hold back, to give only life clippings, to hide some parts of the person I am – as we all know I guess… and sometimes one only wants to scream and shout and say: Here look at the real me – look at me  in a holistic way, look into the eye of a real life, which always has so many facets from dark till light colour. But we don’t do and we are becoming artists and experts in hiding.

Exactly at this point I think that our Christian faith can give us the possibility, at least in front of ourselves to be honest in presenting ourselves – this unconditional love of God we are talking about in almost every church service could liberate us from all hiding. And if we only start to be honest to ourselves and our significant other – but there already it starts.
I do remember a chat with a friend of mine where we reflected on how we are able to communicate our lives to others – and we asked ourselves who, except us, do know all major facets of our lives. We share with different people different parts of our life – but who, except God, does know it all or at least most of it?

We both opened up at that time and I must say that was the beginning of a liberation I did not experienced until then – the beginning of a deep friendship without hiding, a feeling of being accepted as one is – no need for selection. I am very grateful to this friend until this very day, he is a blessing in my life and for my life and I am grateful for every time, we meet and can share. In certain moments, he was a life line in the last year.

Our life is to precious as that we waste it or waste our energy in covering up and hiding. Surely, there are matters, we don’t want to read in the headlines of the newspapers; but I wish for everybody a circle of friends and trusted persons who represent the unconditional love of God in their respective life. And the courage, to expand this own limitation of truthfulness and open acknowledgement of own realities as much as possible. It would indeed in my opinion make the world a better place for all.

Also in the fields of HIV and AIDS, this unconditional love, this truthfulness to one’s own diversity and all shadows of grey in between is a major topic when it comes to combat stigma and discrimination.

Filed under: HIV and AIDS, Reflection, Society and living environment, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , ,

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