God, AIDS, Africa & HOPE

Reflections / Gedanken

What has it really brought… the conference???

Being back in South Africa and back at my working desk and in my working environment the question remains and I am often asked: What has it really brought to go for 48 hours on flights with 18 hours stop over to attend a conference with more than 20.000 people I don’t know and which comes together for 5 days from all over the world.

First of all: I guess, I will take the shorter flight – only looking to save some hundred bugs does not do the trick and flying from the USA via Europe forwards and backwards is a pain in the neck. On the other hand it had the chance to get used to the new environment.. well.. somehow… 🙂
And even being with such a crowd together: I met people I know, even Prof Cotton from the own HOPE Cape Town Association board was queuing with me on the first day to get into the lecture hall passing the tight security. So it was not that lonely. But despite Washington not being very much involved into the conference, the conference remains a beacon of inspiration. I met so many people from so many angle of lives: I spoke to Thai transvestite and escorts, Russian gay activists fearing for the future of an open society, women from Asia, Africa, South America, HIV positive themselves or affected by the pandemic and all that spirit of keeping the fight going, battling against the odds, not giving up against politicians who don’t want to listen, societies, so traditional that one can’t even mention sexual words in public – it was inspiring. Talking to sex workers about their work experience, drug users who escaped somehow the tight visa control of the USA and made it to the conference, priests who are also doctors in the fields of HIV and AIDS – so many faces are still alive in my mind and in my heart and in my soul.

So, yes, even after some time it remains good to have been in Washington, also for my own well-being as an activist, as a priest realising again in all those encounters how important it is to fight on. To keep the fire burning, also in the very own church. Once again I was reminded what great organisation the Catholic church is when it comes to care, but also how disastrous the moral theology can be at times, putting lives in danger to say the least. The church as the community of saints and sinners were very close to me in Washington – and I could associate with both parts of it. 🙂

I will have meetings now in September with some of the folks I met in Washington and then I will see what in practical terms will come out of the conference for HOPE Cape Town Association and Trust – besides all the new material I could collect and bring with to South Africa. And I am confident that at the end the travel was beneficial to all concerned – as a Rotary saying says.

Filed under: General, HIV and AIDS, HIV Prevention, HIV Treatment, HOPE Cape Town Association & Trust, HOPE Cape Town Trust, Medical and Research, Networking, Politics and Society, Reflection, Society and living environment, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Weekend in reach…

What a week it was again – full of encounters and many of them very enriching for one’s own life. But also dull moments, moments that hurt and were you suddenly realise how different other people look at you and judge you.
The transformation process of HOPE Cape Town is still in full swing and my guess is, that end of the year we are sorted in a way that has prepared us for the next 10 years to come. Transformation time is often traumatic, because beloved habits or ideas have to be abounded and fresh, unknown wind is blowing. But I belive that there is that meaningful line in everybody’s life,  also in a life of an organisation, that makes sense and brings the best out of people.
I remain concerned about the state of the church – Vatican leak, the conservatism of church leaders, the anxiety to let the Spirit roam freely, the unification and streamlining instead of bringing out the best of diversity in the universal church, the fight against a relativism which might be none at all, empty churches in Europe, structural reforms which sometimes destroy more than it supports what is still left – I read that the US Catholic church is doing politics in going to court over the health reform – contraception – the most ignored teaching of the church as a catalyst to fight government. Not sure I do understand it in full. I just wonder…

Tomorrow I will say Mass in Milnerton – Holy Trinity Sunday – what a challenge for a priest.. – but at the end it is not about a theological construct but about the unconditional love of God. Not more and not less..

Filed under: General, HIV and AIDS, HOPE Cape Town Association & Trust, HOPE Cape Town Trust, Networking, Reflection, Society and living environment, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Being a priest…

Since I picked up the topic “HIV and AIDS” in the context of being a priest, life became more difficult. Touching and questioning the moral teaching did not go well with the authorities and even being outspoken about it and publishing my concerns, experiences and questions lead in late nineties to the fact, that I could not be a chaplain to a German-speaking Catholic Community anymore. obedience hurrying ahead and being scared of the mighty Vatican – induced with some jealousy at times brought an end to it – and let me to pick up the pieces and – being lucky – brought me to the position I am now in. And I honestly cannot complain as it gives me all opportunities to work in my beloved South Africa and with and amongst those less fortune.

But I have the feeling that the atmosphere in my church is changing. The unfortunate attempt of Benedict XVI to get the Pius XII Society on board, the permission to more mass services of the old order as the exceptional rule brought warfare into the church – instead of achieving more peace and stability within the church, we are in a constant battle between Latin and mother tongue, between a salvation only within the RC church and a Holy Spirit who is able to work where he wants to work. The attempt of the Vatican to be inclusive – at least for those living in the past and refusing to come out and face modern life – is for a normal priest dealing with everyday’s sorrows and plights a situation not asked for and making the pastoral work more difficult. Reading the pamphlets and attacks of right wingers in the church on mainly European websites make me feel sick and tired. The church has come a long way in its tradition and in its way to comfort and proclaim the love of God to those living today. Tradition is a way, not a status quo. I am not sure what drives the Vatican, the pope and others to bring the church in turbulent waters without any need or necessity. But they should be aware that in doing so they make the life of priests not easier, they divide energy into directions without any need or positive outcome and they force us to focus on topics put to rest a long time ago.

The way of the church is forward, God calls us to a future, not back into the past and I hope and pray that this storm of arguments, attacks and unwarranted battle is over soon. And that we can concentrate again on a liturgy which has a meaning to most people of God, a way forward answering the questions of today’s faithful in a way understandable for them. Let those hanging on to old traditions be as they are – God does not mind diversity and if they think that salvation only happens within their church – so it be.. They are then happy and we can continue to serve the people without having an extra battle field within the church.

Filed under: General, Networking, Reflection, Society and living environment, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

8 days to go.. Gott-AIDS-Afrika in English

The book, originally published in the German language translated into English here on the blog. While the blog writer will be attending his duties “on sea” and working on a cruise-liner as the chaplain for 4 weeks, the reader here will have the chance to explore in February and March almost all chapters of the book in an English translation. Thanks to the person who has done the dedicated work of bringing German thoughts into an understandable English world of thoughts. Thoughts about the theology of AIDS, episodes of the life of patients and myself, encounters one cannot forget like the “last birthday” of the little Fareed, or “the silent death” of an employee to embarrassed about being HIV positive – small and big drama comes to life and shows the reality of HIV and AIDS in the context of my work as a priest and activist. I am very happy for every comment and feed back on this book, which changed my life quite dramatically.

Filed under: General, HIV and AIDS, HIV Prevention, HIV Treatment, HOPE Cape Town Association & Trust, HOPE Cape Town Trust, Medical and Research, Networking, Politics and Society, Reflection, Society and living environment, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

HIV – a 30th birthday

Normally, one celebrates a birthday or an anniversary, but celebrating HIV? First: the virus is surely older than 30 but we can say that 30 years ago HIV turned into the limelight of public interest. Who does not remember the scare, this unknown, but clear gay disease – so much so, that the responsible health authorities ignored early warning signs that there might be more to it and allowed for a long time that untested blood was used for transfusions. In respective it showed so clearly that finding a minority to blame is the easiest and one keeps on blaming until disaster struck again and one has to admit that the problem is broader than said. Whether Ronald Reagan or Nelson Mandela – both did not a lot to face the pandemic and let’s be honest, an earlier political approach worldwide or in South Africa would have saved many lives. This is not meant to blame those in power, but it shows how ignorance or tradition or religious feelings can become source of a killing spree.The difference between the two is that Ronald Reagan never apologised for his shortcomings in this matter while Nelson Mandela acknowledged that he could have done more. Then the President’s Fund (PEPFAR) comes to mind, which ignored condoms (as the RC church still tries to do) and prostitution. Once again how many lives could have been saved? And now, 30 years into the pandemic, once again all those important world leaders face another decision: to keep the money flow going for the next years to turn the tight knowing that this is possible or otherwise ignoring the facts and or handing out empty promises with the result that the pandemic will take the next turn rising again.
But 30 years of HIV is also a day of thanksgiving: to all the sung and unsung heroes who fought the pandemic, all the researchers and doctors who dedicated their lives to get tests and medication out to those infected and affected. And praise to all the gay organisations worldwide which were indeed the first promoting safer sex and bringing the pandemic into the light of the public. 30 years of HIV is therefore also a salute to all those around the world who are looking, caring for the 34 million HIV positive people. And as a priest I am proud to say that specially the churches are doing their utmost in the fields of care and treatment for people living with or affected by the virus.

30 years – and still a lot to do: to find a cure, to abolish stigma,  to allow that human rights and dignity are guaranteed for people living with the virus. And of course also to reflect on sexuality and death again, to ask all these practical and philosophical questions about our life, our longings, our fears and our hopes. And this is something I strongly believe is also true: the treat of HIV or the infection was for many people also a chance to hold in, to reflect and to become a more conscious person – knowing how valued life is and how much everybody has to take care to live it to the fullest.

So for me personally HIV has many facets – it has certainly changed my life in many ways: the way I work as a priest, the way I live as a person, the way I see life, the gratefulness I feel about every new day and new challenge. It has brought me to know great people and great friends and to work in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. It also has brought me in conflicts with my church and certainly there is an ongoing debate about prevention and certain aspects of moral theology – but at the same time it has forced me to think sharp and to listen to arguments carefully.

And it has certainly done one thing: it has taken away a lot of my fears – having seen people dying with full-blown AIDS, having done so much counseling, having faced my own anxiety while watching dead and dying, despair and hopelessness, having allowed many people to judge me in one or the other way, I know more than ever who I am and what I want to do with my life: to live it to the fullest the way I was created and called by God. And to assist others to do the same with their lives.

 

Filed under: HIV and AIDS, HIV Prevention, Networking, Reflection, Society and living environment, Uncategorized, , , , , , , ,

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